Hi Guys, Amy here! What follows below is a personal account of how I cope with bad days. I would just like to thank the lovely Siobhan for choosing this topic for myself and Kayliegh before she went on holidays! I really enjoyed writing about t his topic.
Without further ado...
Coping with Bad
Days/Down Days
To me, bad days are generally categorized into two different
types. There’s the generic day where I just feel bad and there’s no reason for
feeling down. There is also the day’s where I’m upset by something, or trying
to pick back up in the aftermath of a Panic Attack. I am going to focus on the
more serious days.
On the
days after a panic attack, I admit I don't really deal with life very well. I
had to deal with the aftermath of a panic on Thursday just gone, as a matter of
fact. It was the first one in a year. On Thursday, admittedly I was a shambles,
but I dragged myself out of bed and just tried
to carry on. I did the things I felt like doing, rather than the things I
should have been doing. I ate crap food, including lactose heavy foods, and I
drank more tea that day that I would drink in a week under normal
circumstances. I coped with my feelings pretty badly, but my defence is that
they were kind of new to me, in a way. I haven't felt them in 12 months.
Somewhere during my day of just trying to get by, it stopped being such an
effort and normality returned. On these days, you just have to just will
yourself to keep going on. Yes, I hear you saying “It’s so hard though” but you
can do it. I know that you are able to.
Things That
Help(ed) Me:
1:
Archery
Let’s
just take it back a bit. It’s 2011, and I’m suffering from frequent, often
un-provoked panic attacks. To cope, I threw myself into my sport, Archery. I
shot a lot. 3 or 4 days a week and I competed at every opportunity. I shot in
National level events, and throwing myself into Archery helped me not only find
a way to cope, but I steadily made more and more new friends, performed better
and better, and placed. I was able to say for a while that I was the 2nd Junior
Irish Female shooting Outdoors in the country. That was Cork. Dundalk saw me as
3rd Indoor in the same category. Archery was a primary method of
coping during that time.
I will always tell people that sports help.
2: Music
During
that time period, I was also REALLY into my music. I listened to what I can now
admit was dark, heavy and often depressing music. I thought it helped at the
time, but now I know it was glorifying depressive states, suicide, self-harm,
and self-hate. It was what I needed to get through in that time, but nowadays I
lean towards music that is more inclined to reduce the time I spend wallowing,
as well as reducing the depth of the funk.
Lately, I am favouring the
soundtrack from The Great Gatsby and bands like Dropkick Murphys, over the
bands I once never strayed from like HIM and Cradle Of Filth. Punk-Rock covers
of Irish ballads win over Cradle of Filths “Cruelty Brought Thee Orchids”,
though, I cannot state categorically that I am not still really partial to a
bit of Dani Filth, and my favourite band are indeed still HIM, I have learned
that they don’t help an already sad Amy.
3:
Talking
When I
can’t get out of a slump by myself, I will text/call someone for a chat. It
doesn’t always have to be about how I’m feeling, because I love the chats with
people, and a lot of times all I need is company. When my friend Anna is home, I
go over to hers for tea and I have never left her house without having a
hilarious, random time.
If you can’t
talk about things with someone you know, there are plenty of peer-to-peer
services like O La Go La, where you can anonymously talk about what you are
feeling and find help to get through it.
4:
Distraction
Music
probably falls under this bracket, but for all intents and purposes, I mean
doing things. You might be feeling wretched, but does the thought of cake make
you go, “Ooh yeah I wouldn’t mind a slice of cake…”? Then you should set about
making a cake. The process is extrememly comforting, the mixing, the pouring,
measuring etc. Methodical tasks calm me down majorly. Maybe it would work for
you too. And hey, who doesn’t love a few hours distraction that is going to end
in cake?!
My Advice To You
If I could give anyone advice on how to get through
a day where you feel really down, I
would tell you definitely to do the following:
·
Get up, get out of
bed. Yes, I know it's warm, and it's comfy, but you will feel the better of it
because you will get your blood flowing.
·
Have a shower, even
if you are just doing so as an excuse to get into fresh pyjamas afterwards!
Showers are a place to think, I find, and a place to just let go of bad
feelings. Imagine the water washing your bad day down the drain!
·
Eat something. I
cannot stress this enough. I don't care what you eat, if could be a pack of
celery, it could be a box of doughnuts, but just have food. Starving yourself
doesn’t help anything.
·
Open some windows.
Fresh air always helps me, so maybe it might be beneficial for you. Better
still, try to go outside, bring a cup of tea or coffee with you into the garden
and enjoy it outside.
As for the rest of it, here are some suggestions
for things to fill up your day, and occupy you so you don't dwell on your bad
feelings and risk spiralling.
·
Clean your room or
your house
·
Read a book
·
Talk to a friend.
Remember, a problem shared is a problem halved.
·
Talk to your pets.
I do this, and I promise, it's not a crazy-cat-lady thing; it really does help,
especially when they look at you and you know they know what you’re talking
about.
·
Go for a walk (If
the Irish weather permits, of course!)
·
Bake a cake
(occupies you, AND you get cake!! One of my favourite ways to kill a few sad
hours)
·
Catch up on your
blog reading if that's your thing
·
Watch a movie.
(Stay away from movies that might make you cry, instead, go for animations)
·
Browse online for
random things! thisiswhyimbroke.com is a fantastic website for this kind of
thing!!
·
Organize something
(eg: I'm waiting for a down day to alphabetise my DVD collection, and another
to reorganize my chest of drawers)
·
Learn a new skill.
I got good at building Airfix models and Warhammer figurines during the time
when my life was a series of down days! By the time I got to learn Crochet, I
was doing a lot better because I was occupying myself and getting woolly
goodies out of my bad feelings.
·
Clear out your
wardrobe, and give some things to charity. Often, we feel better from the
knowledge that we are helping people, as well as making space in our wardrobes.
Then you can treat yourself to something in the future!
No matter what, I want you to please try to
remember that if your day is going badly, if you’re feeling down, the only
person who can pick you up and keep you up, is you. I would urge you, if life
seems to be really awful, to go to your GP and explain how you feel. They can
help, and they will have the means to get you back to top form!
The things I’ve listed above have been a means of
keeping myself going when I was really down at one point or another. I would
love so much to hear your Coping Techniques, as well as what you think of the
ones I use. Do you see yourself trying out anything from the list?
Please feel free to post your coping strategies to
your own blog, and tweet us the link @MentalHealthMon with the hashtag #MHM.
Similarly, you can email us your stories if you would like us to share them.
You can choose to be named, or be made anonymous. Remember, our little team
will respect whatever you wish to do! All the contact info is in the "Contact Us" tab on the homepage.
All My Love,
Amy
xx
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